Over the past few weeks I have logged onto that fiendish time stealer Facebook, only to find that someone else had lost their phone, and was acting like it was the end of their comparitively small world.
I have slowly come to the conclusion that losing your phone, automatically and IMMEDIATELY causes your life to shutdown. But it doesn't end here, oooh no. Your life is then rebooted, as it were, upon the acquisition of a new a mobile telecommunications device.
This...hypothesis...died today, and was reincarnated as a fully fledged and oh so beautiful theory, when I logged in and saw that my friend (oooh let us call him Johnny for ease of understanding) had set his status to "AHHH New Phone, New start!!"
Now anyone who knows "Johnny", also knows that he always has at least a pot and a half's worth of super-strength hairgel slathered over the insulation on his cranium, causing it to stand to attention.
On a whim I checked his profile picture and low and behold, NO HAIR GEL!
I believe this realisation will help me to send the suicide rates of this country to an all time low.
If your life just isn't worth living, forget potholing down an empty lift shaft, buy a new phone.
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